The Me within Me

"I believe that everything happens for a reason.People change so that you can learn to let go,things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right,you believe lies so that you learn to trust no one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."- Marilyn Monroe 

 

 

I have never been a fan of the 'bold and beautiful' Marilyn Monroe.Probably,my concept of beauty could not encircle her within its boundaries.But,when I read the above lines and re-read again and again,I find a lot of things which allow me me to compare myself with the '20th century-joy-forever'.She was successful,she was unique,she was restless,she was alone,she was judgmental.I am successful(by my standards),I find myself unique,I am restless,My notion of happiness is a rather confused one and I am judgmental.I often find myself at a position from where I cannot see my friends,family,well-wishers & anybody and everybody I meet as equals.They appear either superior or inferior to me.I have friends,a lot of them.But,I have not been able  to be anyone's friend.When I revisit my diary and discover myself,I find it difficult to accept the fact that 'the me within me' has not been familiar to the people around me,that 'the me within me' has not been adequately exposed to world around and it is my inherent inhibition  which is responsible for the gap between 'Me' and 'You'.I am strictly rational when it comes to the world around and my ability to speak confidently for the truth around me is unquestionable.But,it is always 'around me' and not 'within me'.

I firmly believe(and my belief is not just belief) that to be in love,two people must have intellectual and emotional compatibility.The first one is visible,or rather perceivable one.But to 'test' emotional compatibility,two people need to give each other opportunity and time.And honestly speaking,I have always deprived 'the me within me' of the opportunity and time I should have given.

 By definition,everybody with a functional brain and a beating heart is a creative person.A painter,a poet,a scientist,an actor,a doctor,a carpenter.....you can just lengthen the list.Everybody is creative in some way or other.But,when someone's creativity is the pure extract of human nature,human psychology and human behaviour(which is basically termed is 'Art') it shapes the person in a way the other people cannot understand(or the person concerned starts to believe that other cannot understand him/her).He/she starts to live a life of  solitary dreams,which others find uninteresting and often absurd.Probably,I too am living a life of solitary dreams,which 'the world around me'  does not care about. Having said this,I must be jubilant to learn the fact that there are a bunch of people who feel the same way I do,who too have 'hims/hers within hims/hers' and who too have been facing the crisis(!) which has been a part of my life.(And who knows,I may discover somebody among them with whom I share intellectual as well as emotional compatibility!)

 This small write-up is for all such lonely people surrounded by a world of unrecognizable  familiarity.